Today I turn 22.
I was trying to think why that feels like such a big thing and I think it’s because it’s the first of the really grown up ages. You haven’t got any more completely officially carefree ages after 21, from then on you’re sort of expected to start producing answers about the direction your life is going in. But despite thinking this I would like to report that I am completely delighted to be turning 22.
I was trying to work out why this was. I’ve had a couple of my friends grimace at their recent birthdays and lament the fact that they were getting older and so it seemed weird to me when I realised I had never had that feeling. On the contrary I really enjoy getting older each year, so it got me wondering why that was.
It was only when I was re-watching True Dectective (series one of course, no one is watching series two, never mind re-watching) that a quote totally put my feelings into words. At one point Marty is telling Rust to shut up and Rust replies “Given how long its taken for me to reconcile my nature, I can’t figure I’d forego it on your account.” And I just wanted to shout out. Yes! Exactly!
This is why I love getting older. Because every year that goes by I get to become more and more comfortable with my nature; I learn what I need, what works for me, what is truly important and what really doesn’t matter. When you’re a teenager you spend so much time learning about the world and about human relationships and hair straighteners that you hardly have any time to learn what you actually need. I’m sure a lot of people managed to get to know themselves a lot quicker but I know that it took around eighteen years to know who I was and then a further four to actually be happy with and accept that person. That is why I love getting older. Because I love who I am, I love the life I get to live and I love the person I’m becoming.
By the way, this photo is from my birthday party which was ‘Glitter Unicorn’ themed. I will be sharing pictures.